I've come to realize that a certain person that I work with is verbally abusive to me. And even though I have discussed it with this person, it still continues to happen. Without going into specific details, I'll just relate how it makes me feel by sharing a dream I had:
In the dream, a patient collapses right in front of me. I check the patient's pulse and realize she has none. With no one else around, I realize that I am going to have to "code" this patient on my own. I immediately start to do chest compressions and I know that I need to gain IV access. So, with one hand I continue my chest compressions, while with the other hand I somehow successfully start an IV. (Pretty much impossible, that's how I know I am in a dream). I recheck her pulse and realize her heart has begun to beat on its own again. At this point, other people arrive to help. I'm feeling pretty proud of what I've done until.. this abusive person comes up to me and starts critiquing my compressions:
"You are supposed to use two hands for compressions."
"I know, but I was by myself, and I..."
"And your arm wasn't straight, it was floppy. You weren't giving adequate pressure."
"I know, but the patient survived and..". In my dream, I am totally deflated and feeling shitty. Like, even though I got the job done, I didn't do it good enough. What the F*ck?!
Anyone out there have any solutions for me or any similar situations? I'm not a total pussy, like I said, I've already talked to this person about her behavior. Obviously to no avail. Without totally alienating her (I still have to continue working side by side with her for 12 hours at a time!) how can I change her behavior? And yes, I have already told my supervisor. No change.. Any ideas??
1 comment:
yuck. no body likes to be criticized. it's her, not you. unfortunately, you won't be able to change her behavior--people have to change their own behavior and there are probably many layers to why this person is alway bring others down--probably either done to them or they are just unhappy with themselves. projecting, projecting, projecting. you really can only change you, and how you react to her verbal crap-spew. it takes a butt-load of compassion and forgiveness and patience. and it won't work every time. you can calmly state your limits, over and over again--"you know, i did my best, and i won't be spoken down to." then walk away (physically and mentally). being snarky and defensive doesn't really go down well (although it is really hard not to do!) but reflecting what you think that person is trying to say with their harsh words ("i see that you are upset about this") and then stating your own ("but that makes me feel disrespected") and then make a request ("maybe next time you could let me know without calling me names")
sounds good on paper, right? lol it sounds really annoying, esp if you are now having anxiety dreams about it!
congrats on your first web photo embedding, btw!
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