Monday, March 24, 2008

The Top Ten Reasons you are lucky...

#1: You either haven't gotten or are (finally) over influenza this season.

#2: You haven't bitten into a prickly pear cactus and filled your mouth full of thorns because you "heard they are edible" and took a bite.

#3: You didn't dip your finger into the sauce you were making, not thinking that you also had a hand held blender at full speed in the same bowl.

#4: You didn't amputate the tip of your finger and then the leave the ER (with your finger dangling) because you are an illegal alien.

#5: You didn't get bacterial pneumonia and just happen to be allergic to almost every antibiotic known to man.

#6: Your rectum didn't prolapse as you were having a particularly trying bowel movement.

#7: You're not homeless and the best prospect to having sex is in an ER exam room after your peritonsillar abscess is drained of pus. (See last blog.)

#8: You didn't break your collarbone jogging because you stared so hard at another jogger of the opposite sex running by that you ran into a stop sign.

#9: You didn't slice your hand open from "cutting cheese".

#10: You didn't give a guy a blow job who happened to have an outbreak of herpes and now you have genital herpes covering the whole inside of your mouth.


Hilary Battes said...

I'm so grateful!! Thanks for the best nurse tales ever!

Leah Perlingieri said...

oh, gawwwwwwd. i am feeling very lucky.