Monday, March 24, 2008

The Top Ten Reasons you are lucky...

#1: You either haven't gotten or are (finally) over influenza this season.

#2: You haven't bitten into a prickly pear cactus and filled your mouth full of thorns because you "heard they are edible" and took a bite.

#3: You didn't dip your finger into the sauce you were making, not thinking that you also had a hand held blender at full speed in the same bowl.

#4: You didn't amputate the tip of your finger and then the leave the ER (with your finger dangling) because you are an illegal alien.

#5: You didn't get bacterial pneumonia and just happen to be allergic to almost every antibiotic known to man.

#6: Your rectum didn't prolapse as you were having a particularly trying bowel movement.

#7: You're not homeless and the best prospect to having sex is in an ER exam room after your peritonsillar abscess is drained of pus. (See last blog.)

#8: You didn't break your collarbone jogging because you stared so hard at another jogger of the opposite sex running by that you ran into a stop sign.

#9: You didn't slice your hand open from "cutting cheese".

#10: You didn't give a guy a blow job who happened to have an outbreak of herpes and now you have genital herpes covering the whole inside of your mouth.

2 comments:

ChefWife said...

I'm so grateful!! Thanks for the best nurse tales ever!

Mama Nomad said...

oh, gawwwwwwd. i am feeling very lucky.