My job is not okay...

Imagine this: In one room you are taking care of a patient who is dying. A patient who is only 62 years old. Your mom, your friends mom. She's is dying right before your eyes. You do chest compressions when she goes into cardiac arrest, she's intubated and on a breathing machine. You give her several doses of epinephrine and atropine every time she arrests (five times so far!)! You start a chest tube. She came in talking, saying she didn't feel well the past couple of days. How many times can you code her? Enough. She dies. The family weeps, it's horrible, it's tragic. You hug them, you cry. Then you have to finish your shift. You have to go into a room with a patient complaining of a headache. They want your attention, they want your sympathy. HOW? How can I feel compassion for you???? Your headache is stupid, it is not important. How do I do this? How do I feel compassion for your headache when someone just died right in front of me!?

We decided to grill a whole fish tonight. Thank you, oh dear sweet red snapper, for giving us your moist flesh. We treated you with the utmost respect and reveled in every sacrificed morsel. It helps to eat "whole foods" to remind us exactly what we are eating. We had some leftover fennel stems and fronds and lemons so Noah stuffed those in the cavity.

Our trusty habachi... we've used it for years on our small patio and it easily fits in our trunk for a beach trip.



The skin got stuck on the grill, but not too bad, and the smell was amazing! (Maybe not so much for the neighbors but f*ck them!)


Noah braised spring onions with black trumpet mushrooms. Then he crisped up some fingerling potatoes to serve alongside. Chives and tarragon finished it off. So good!

Spring has sprung in SoCal...

So Noah went to the farmer's market today and came home with strawberries and asparagus!! Spring is officially here in Santa Monica. I went back and forth on what I wanted to make. I always have this problem on Wednesdays... he brings home so much beautiful product that I want to use everything. But I reigned it in and decided to do simple. After a thorough inventory of our "larder", I hoofed it to the store for buttermilk. Then I pulled out Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking (a la a recent popular movie) and looked up hollandaise sauce. I took the beautiful asparagus and peeled them then steamed them. After making the hollandaise just as Julia suggests, we poached some eggs and crisped up proscuitto in the oven. Here is the result:

It tasted sooooooo goooood!!! Then I made shortcake biscuits using a recipe from Alton Brown (he never lets me down!) I macerated the strawberries in lemon juice and sugar then made Noah whip up the whipping cream with powdered sugar and a drop of vanilla extract. Exquisite!!

My 35th...

We had so much fun on Noah's birthday downtown that we decided to do it again for mine. Downtown LA always seemed like a place you never went unless you worked there. But there is a budding society and it makes it seem like we are visiting another city. A vacation 20 minutes (or an hour and a half) away (depending on traffic, of course!).

Our first stop, Bar 107. Big ol' Pabst served in an old school dive bar!

3pm. Downtown LA. PBR's. Camera. Love it!!!

Next, we walked a couple of blocks away to a a wine bar called The Must. They served tator tots with cheddar cheese sauce. And really strong Raaaaaaayyyy Neeeaaaarrrrrrr Beeeeaaaarrrrr!

Noah drank an Old Milwaukee and we snacked on a warm, soft pretzel with a fabulous mustard.

They had a bunch of board games and card games for public use so we channeled our Hawaii vacation and played some Uno. (Of course I thought of you Lou!)

Next we walked a couple of blocks to The Redwood Bar and Grill (a pirate bar, Arrghh!). This was the view outside the door...

Lately, I've really been into Journey. More precisely, I've been OBSESSED with Journey, especially with Steve Perry. So on my bday I wanted to sing "Journeyokie". We snuck in a pint of Jim Beam and sung our hearts out!

'Through space and time

Always another show

Wondering where I am

Lost without you'

-Steve Perry

Thoroughly toasted and ready for some good food, we walked/bussed to Church and State, a fairly new place on the outskirts of downtown. Downtown is a sketchy place to walk around: one minute you are in a gentrified neighborhood, the next skid row.. Yikes! But we made it okay and shared a prix fixe menu for $39.

Amuse bouche: english pea veloute with smoked bacon

Raw oyster and poached shrimp

Duck breast with lentils, brussel sprouts, and orange duck sauce

I forgot the dessert because I don't really like dessert...

We took the 720 home, straight down Wilshire. Barely had to wait, stopped at the HMS Bounty mid-wilshire, halfway through the ride. Got bought a drink by a regular, chatted it up with an Asian Jew and a gay guy. Fun, fun...

Noah's LA birthday adventure

For Noah's 36th birthday, I wanted to go to take him to the French countryside, tour off the beaten path bistros in a convertible and spend nights in quaint little bed and breakfasts. But we couldn't afford that. Hawaii? New York? Palm Springs, for gods sake? Nope, our budget would not stretch that far. So I decided to take a small vacation in our own city. It's easy to do in LA, a place where every country is represented in some neighborhood. After some thought I thought it would be fun to discover the essence of old Hollywood, the LA of the 30's, 40's and 50's. Oh, and I wanted to booze to be included somehow. So I researched lounges that have been open since the 30's. Here's what we found:

I thought it would be fun to forget about driving and trying to find parking. LA's public transportation is atrocious but we found a way to make it work. After buying $5 day passes for the metro (good on buses and the rail) we hopped on the Big Blue Bus #10 to downtown.


It took us about 25 minutes to get downtown. The ride was comical, the personalities of the bus driver and other riders kept us entertained. And in true LA commute fashion, the bus got cut off, had to slam on the brakes, and we came together as a small bus riding community by flipping of the offending driver. What fun!





We got off downtown near a rail connection and did our first underground foray of Los Angeles. The cleanest and most beautiful of subway systems! I'm shocked more people don't take advantage of such a convenient way to get around the city.

Our first stop was in Hollywood. Naturally, something was being filmed at a corner diner and we had to fight our way through lights, electric cables, crew, and heavily perfumed and make-up'd actresses. Pretty cool to see the Capitol Records building.

Our first stop, The Frolic Room, conveniently located right across the street from our rail stop. We meandered along the star studded sidewalk and made our way into the tiny, dark bar. There was one other patron and the ageless, petite woman behind the bar was making him some Jiffypop on a strange, undulating hot plate. She was delighted when we told her what we were doing and gave us ideas of other bars to visit. The Frolic Room was opened in the 30's and was a hang out of the "Black Dahlia" and Charles Bukowski.

Inside the bar with the birthday boy. I love taking low light photos. And of course there are always signed head shots and photos of the owners with various celebs prominently displayed.

A quick bus ride to the next stop: The Formosa cafe. It was opened in 1934, the back half is made out of a trolley car, and legend has it that Frank Sinatra spent many nights here pining over Ava Gardner.

A view of the trolley car (sorry about the blur!) The bartender was really friendly and knowledgeable. The cafe is around the corner from Warner Brother's studios so all sorts of industry types have spent lots of time here.

This was Elvis Presley's favorite booth. He donated several Elvis-likeness liquor bottles which are displayed in the case above. An Elvis shrine!

We took the rail back downtown and our last stop (after having a great dinner at a new restaurant in Japantown called the Lazy Ox Canteen) was Cole's. It boasts having invented the French Dip.

We ordered Bombay Sapphire martini's and the bartender wasn't having it. He made us martini's made with an old school English gin. A fabulous end to a great birthday! A relaxing bus ride home....

New fancy digs..

The new and improved ER has passed inspection and we are ready to move in next Thursday! So exciting to be able to move in to a new building with new equipment. (No more call lights that are a 3 foot string of gauze attached to the one that was broken 5 years ago). New moniters, new computers, and 2 trauma rooms! I know there will be some growing pains but I'm really excited! I'll try to take some photos to post soon.

Our best hiking day yet...

Decided to revisit a hike we had done last week but take a detour up to Magu Peak. I told Noah that I wanted to be at the trailhead by 1pm. I woke up at 1230! Not a great start. Our plan was to do the hike and time it so that we finished by 430 or so then we wanted to BBQ at our favorite beach, which is just down the road, and watch the sunset. We got to the trailhead at 2pm and started up. I was so tired I wanted to quit at the beginning. But the trick with hiking is that you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't look ahead, just keep plodding. My hard work was well rewarded! Check out this summit view looking down on the Pacific Coast Highway.

The views were panoramic! We couldn't even fit into the photo how much ocean we were looking down upon.


We finished the hike just around 430, just how we planned. We drove the short distance to Sycamore Beach and fired up the BBQ. We had brought a gargantuan porterhouse and Noah had put together a coleslaw with napa cabbage, apples, parsley, and watercress with a creme fraiche and red wine vinegar dressing.

Noah manning the grill with the sun going down behind him...


Gorgeous sunset, gorgeous man...


We split a bottle of Santa Barbara Winery pinot noir and ate while we watched the sky turn a hundred different colors. We could see lobster boats bobbing in the distance, a guy was paddling around on his surfboard, seagulls were trying to check out what food we had to offer, and the only other people on the beach were BBQing something that smelled delicious. What a great day!!