ER shorts...

It's a true symbol of burn-out when I stopped finding my day-to-day interactions in the ER amusing just down right annoying.  And I stopped writing about them because they have become so commonplace that I seem to no longer find them bizarre.  But all the medical "professionals" out there know that we see people at their worst/best/confused/angry/etc. and how could that ever become boring??  A random sample:

A 30 something woman came in saying she had "lost" her tampon and could we get it out for her. I think I've said this before but the vaginal canal is a cul-de-sac and things don't get lost.  I think people are not comfortable enough with their bodies to explore them when something is wrong. Stick  your finger up your vag and feel if anything is there!!  Save yourself $500 bucks...  By the way, we looked and found no lost tampon or remote or anything else...

A woman came in BY AMBULANCE for a toothache she had for 2 weeks.  A toothache.  Let's picture how this happened:  Wow, my tooth has been hurting for 2 weeks now!  I've had it! (Beep-boop-boop: calling 911)  Hi, 911?  My EMERGENCY is that my tooth hurts.  Can you send out some highly trained professionals in an expensive am-boo-lance to pick me up?  No I'm not bleeding to death.  No I don't have chest pain.  Yes I'm breathing fine.  Can someone come get me?  My tooth hurts too much to drive myself.  I'm with a friend.  Can she come?

I'm not kidding.  We gave her pain meds and then she asked us if we could pay for a cab home for her and her friend.  And she wanted us to order her dinner (doesn't your tooth hurt?) and give her socks.  Oh, this was her third visit for the same reason in the last 2 weeks.  

A frequent flier/drug seeker smoked a cigarette in the bathroom.  Thank god he didn't smoke it in the exam room.  All that oxygen flowing from the walls?  BOOM!

I am so over the stupidity....