My job is not okay...

Imagine this: In one room you are taking care of a patient who is dying. A patient who is only 62 years old. Your mom, your friends mom. She's is dying right before your eyes. You do chest compressions when she goes into cardiac arrest, she's intubated and on a breathing machine. You give her several doses of epinephrine and atropine every time she arrests (five times so far!)! You start a chest tube. She came in talking, saying she didn't feel well the past couple of days. How many times can you code her? Enough. She dies. The family weeps, it's horrible, it's tragic. You hug them, you cry. Then you have to finish your shift. You have to go into a room with a patient complaining of a headache. They want your attention, they want your sympathy. HOW? How can I feel compassion for you???? Your headache is stupid, it is not important. How do I do this? How do I feel compassion for your headache when someone just died right in front of me!?

We decided to grill a whole fish tonight. Thank you, oh dear sweet red snapper, for giving us your moist flesh. We treated you with the utmost respect and reveled in every sacrificed morsel. It helps to eat "whole foods" to remind us exactly what we are eating. We had some leftover fennel stems and fronds and lemons so Noah stuffed those in the cavity.

Our trusty habachi... we've used it for years on our small patio and it easily fits in our trunk for a beach trip.



The skin got stuck on the grill, but not too bad, and the smell was amazing! (Maybe not so much for the neighbors but f*ck them!)


Noah braised spring onions with black trumpet mushrooms. Then he crisped up some fingerling potatoes to serve alongside. Chives and tarragon finished it off. So good!

Spring has sprung in SoCal...

So Noah went to the farmer's market today and came home with strawberries and asparagus!! Spring is officially here in Santa Monica. I went back and forth on what I wanted to make. I always have this problem on Wednesdays... he brings home so much beautiful product that I want to use everything. But I reigned it in and decided to do simple. After a thorough inventory of our "larder", I hoofed it to the store for buttermilk. Then I pulled out Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking (a la a recent popular movie) and looked up hollandaise sauce. I took the beautiful asparagus and peeled them then steamed them. After making the hollandaise just as Julia suggests, we poached some eggs and crisped up proscuitto in the oven. Here is the result:

It tasted sooooooo goooood!!! Then I made shortcake biscuits using a recipe from Alton Brown (he never lets me down!) I macerated the strawberries in lemon juice and sugar then made Noah whip up the whipping cream with powdered sugar and a drop of vanilla extract. Exquisite!!